the worst feeling is when one of your friends brings up a kink that you kinda like but then they’re like “IDK WHY PEOPLE LIKE THAT SORT OF THING THAT’S WEIRD” and you just (sweats quietly)
my favorite part of hamlet is at the beginning when they see the ghost of hamlet sr for the first time
and the guards are like “Horatio, you go talk to it! You went to college!”
and Horatio is like “Yeah! I did go to college! I will go talk to the ghost!”
like. where did horatio go to college. did he go to ghost college
FUCK my friend hooked up with this girl and she’s like a mild weeb or whatever but she fucking called him oniichan in bed i’m fucking howling
treat me like a college textbook. spend lots of money on me but never touch or look at me
today i watched a roomba scoot through the open door of a nearby bakery and onward to freedom as a panicked cleaning crew chased after it. all hail the robot uprising
If you don’t wanly your private photos leaked, don’t take them. If you don’t want to be robbed, don’t own anything. If you don’t want to be murdered, don’t be alive.
some muggleborn like “i want to be an astronaut when i grow up!”
wizard kids like “wtf is an astronaut”
"oh you know…the people who go to the moon"
implying that magical children would know literally nothing outside of the wizarding world
don’t you think it’s kind of funny that we have these characters with magical powers that go on incredible adventures and do amazing things and that’s really impressive but after a while we’re like “okay so what if they just owned a coffee shop. imagine them filing their taxes”